Mark1 gets freedom from the man.

To celebrate the "The man" getting out of Mark1's truck we have a pool party.  I clean everything up, mow the grass and heat the pool.  Invite some ladies over, smoke a brisket and get plenty of beer.

Pull tabs == Anal

So Friday night again....  WP has plans for Sat night but nothing on Fri so Allan, Little H and myself meet up a local bar close to our house for some beers.  We play some pool drink some beer you know the usual the bar is low on talent and we are really just killing time.  So 1 am roles around we all look at each other and say ok let role out.  Allan says i want to do some pull tabs before we go.  i am like dude you don't need to do any pull tabs.  He is like come on it will just take a sec.  OK Allan with 2 L's go do some fucking pull tabs.  For people not in wa pull tabs are these little paper thing that you pay money for and you pull on the fucking tab on the end and it says blah, but sometimes it say "YOU WON $$$".  Ok so Allan sits down at the pull tabs with an empty chair between him and this red head.  I am like WTF i got nothing better to do so i sit and chat up the Red head.  She is older bout 43 i think she told me, but nice figure.  So we chat it up blah blah blah, bar calls last call so we order 1 last drink.  She says hey i smoke do you?  I am like no but i will go with you so we go outside so she can smoke and blah blah blah some more.  We go back in finish our drinks at this point the bar is kicking people out.  We go sit on my tailgate and blah blah some more the fellas walk by and are like Jr you ok?  I say yea guys see you tomorrow with a wink.  So i talk to Red some more and she says whats next.  I am like well we can go to your place and have some more drinks or my place.  She says nah i think i just want your number.  I say ok give it to her.  I say you need a ride home?  she says no i just met you i don't want a strange guy to know where i live.  I say ok no prob call me tomorrow and leave.  I almost get home i get a call.  "hey can you come over?"  Yes i can be there in a sec where do you live.  Get her address and go to red's place.  She opens the door pretty much naked, at this point i know what is about to happen.  So we go to her bedroom and start getting down.  She stops me for a sec and say "How do feel about anal?"  I am like "umm i guess it is ok" i am a little dumbfounded at this point.  never had that question asked.  i tell her "i am ok as long as nothing is going in my ass.  I don't mind sticking my dick in yours if that is what you like.  I won't be begging you for it though."  She is satisfied with that answer and starts making out with me again.  Then she stops again.  "You arent bi are you?"  I am like "What?  Babe i only swing both ways when i walk naked.  WTH is going on here i might need to leave.  If somebody jumps out of the closet we have problems."  She is like "No it is not like that."  Then she proceeds to tell me that about a year ago she was in a 4 year relationship when she found out that her bf had been fucking a married couple they knew.  I was like fucking the wife and the husband watched.  She was like NO!  That is why it messed me up.  She tells me that she was "Batshit crazy for a while!"  I am like no shit.  She goes the problem was i would ask questions i didn't want the answer to.  Like she ask the bf do you suck his dick to which the answer was yes.  Do you take it up the ass.  To which the answer was yes.  At this point i am like ok i understand why you ask those questions.  You get a pass on that.  We laugh go back to making out.  She roles over ontop of me pulls my dick out and shoves it in her ass and start fucking.....

Next day i pick up Allan and head to WP den to watch the sucky ass fight.  He ask how did it go?  I am like you won't believe me but here you go.  Tell him the story to which from then on the running joke is "How do you feel about anal" or "I only swing both ways when i walk naked"  The WP decides we need to start a journal of Jrisms.  And here you go.

The M's play the Twins and lesbian bars are fun.

Ok we decide we need to go to M's game, Felix is pitching, so we do our racist chant "KKKKKK" all night.  We drink a lot of beers and meet some new peeps.  Mark1's girl lets call her Randi from now on, meets up with some of her friends and she has friends of friends there also.  We start hanging with a group of girls that is bigger than the WP that is out.  We are also picking up on the ladies, the WP is strong this night.

"I was a doctor, a lawyer,
a senator's son, Brad Pitt's brother
and a man on the run.
Anything I thought would get the job done."

If you know that ref you know we were out for a good time.  So the game ends we start filing out this chunky girl with very large breast has kinda latched onto me.  She has a friend (Savey) that is better looking but you know, she is married or some shit like that.  So we are rolling prob somewhere 20 strong at this point.  We duck into a bar in dt Seattle and have some drinks.  The fellas are making the chicks laugh as usual and things are progressing.  I am not going to tell you the little H puked in the bar and nobody saw it happen, but i am not going to deny it if you ask...

Savey says hey you guys want to go to a lesbian bar on cap hill.  Bunch of dudes of course the answer is hell yea.  So we order some Uber's and head out.  I am pretty sure we got lectured about lesbian etiquette in the uber all the way over.  I think she thought we were going to be like bulls in a china closet.  We get there the WP is strong in lesbian bars just in case you didn't know.  I am pretty sure if the bar would have stayed open a bit longer our sheer scent would have straiten the lip stick lesbian out for a night.  We have a great time. I am pretty sure, things are a little hazy, that i pulled the busty girls tits out at some point and suck on them in the bar.  Yes she is still latched on.  So bar closes and we uber back to the wolf den and i take the busty girl down stairs.  we go at it but some whisky dick sets in, but sucking on those tits for an hour with some fondling was fun.  So next morning wake up brush teeth and shit.  Busty girl ask can you take me to the bus stop, to which my response is i will take you home i am a nice guy like that.  She says well i live in Tacoma...   Lesson learned ,she says bus stop you say "YES".  So get up get dressed and take this chick to Tacoma..  Getting in the truck i say something you are gonna make this worth my while right.  We get to BFE her condo is on some golf course i think, i might still be drunk from last night.  I go into her bathroom and piss come out and lay on her bed.  She says why don't we take a nap.  I say that is a great idea pull my cloths off and go to sleep.  When i wake up apparently she got in bed with me naked cause there is a tit right in my face so what is a guy to do.  Start sucking.  She wakes up and we play a bit then she starts sucking, but whisky dick is still in effect.  Fella just wont fully salute he takes a knee and stands for a sec just long enough for her to excited i do some quick shit and my phone starts ringing.  I answer and it is WP members where are you.  you should be here.  blah blah.  I look over at busty say hey i got to go.  Get dressed and walk out.  As i am walking out the door she says i don't know your last name or phone number.  I smile says some numbers real quick and walk away......

The bar is out of Beer.. HB Stiffler

So it is Stiffler's bd and Friday night, what is the WP to do.  Well we get drunk, this weekend is when the saying "keep it light drink all night" started.  We go to this bar up the street from the WP den have a few beers.  This night we keep it under control because well we have plans the next night to tear it down.  Nothing spectacular happened other than i flirted with a 21 yo child and discovered that i am too old to talk to a 21 yo chick.  Lesson learned.  They might be good for fucking but not talking to.  Now Saturday roles around and we go back up to the bar up the street from the den at about 1 in the afternoon.  WE drank the bar out of Coors light and Rainier on this night.  Literally ran the bar out of 2 kinds of beer.  So the girl i push onto Mark1 last week still has his attention and she is there hanging with us.  Brave girl that one, she invites her friends to the bar.  Mind you this place is a shit hole up the street from the den.  Love that bar though always good times people watching.  The best part of this night has to be fucking with Karaoke girl from last week.  She didn't remember me but I knew most everything that she told me last week.  And i told her my bellybutton joke.  Ready ok here go's i know you want to hear it.  You ask a girl.

Have you ever had your bellybutton licked?  Have you ever had it done right?  The right way is from the inside.  and show your tongue, hopefully you have a tongue like mine.......

Oh i guess at some point i told someone to read my hat when they asked where is was from......  I was wearing a camo LSU hat.

Baby Shower.

So the weekend after the breakup we all at a friends house for his wife's baby shower.  Somehow we end up in the garage because that is where the dart board is and we are drinking whisky and beer while throwing darts.  Good times always had while drinking and throwing darts.  So the WP decides i need to get out and spread my wings and well i don't disagree.  The WP decide we should go to the "french quarter" area so we load up and go.  We have an extra guy lets call him Mo, he is not married but lives with a good girl.  So we go to this pizza place in the area, not sure what it is called and i have been drinking heavily at this point.  I am smiling a lot because well i have been drinking and i smile a lot, being a good natured happy person i do smile lots.  Anyway we have this bigger girl for a waitress and we are giving her a hard time, you know being a little flirty.  We get our beers and order some pizzas.  I go to the bathroom, come back and flirting with a different waitress in the back.  I am a man on a mission at this point.  Sit back down and the pizzas come to which i ask the waitress, "Can i have some Tabasco and a bj."  If you could have seen her eyes, the sheer surprise of i have never heard that before.  Then my buddies start making up names for bj, "butter and jam" that is what he is talking about.  It was hilarious.  So we carry on eating our food, laugh some more, finish our beers, talk more to the waitress.  She was extremely curious about my job, how did i get it type shit.  So we leave and go to a bar nearby, we are still drinking of course.  I start hitting on this blonde, she has 2 friends i push 1 of them over to mark1 and the other one is so drunk she can barely stand up but is all about singing some karaoke.  Anyway i go to the bathroom after a while and on my way back some big girl grabs me and says "I want to buy you a shot", I am like who are you then i realize that it is the waitress.  I am like i am going to buy you a shot for being so cool.  We go to the bar have our shots and she looks at me and is like you ready for the bj now.  How does that shit work i am thinking.  Well i turn her down and go back to flirting with the blonde.  The night goes on and i screw it up with the blonde by bringing up the ex.  Lesson learned.

BackStory in CamelCase not pascalCase

So let's get the back story down.  Let's say I am late 30's, newly single (as of the beginning of April '15), and successful in my career. I got my shit together. I am a southern guy living in the Seattle area working for Microsoft through a consulting company.  I drive a big black jacked up truck. I hunt, fish and everything that a country boy would do.  I dip and cuss and just about anything else you could imagine a Louisiana boy would do in life. Well, except meth.  Now for the ladies out there reading this, I am tall (6'5"), quick witted, funny, and confident.  Those are all the makings for good times. I promise I can make you laugh, I don't care who you are. In this blog  I'm going to protect the innocent with fake names.    My boys - let's call us the Wolfpack, or WP for short - have been my salvation in this time of need.  The introductory WP members are Mark1, Mark2, Allan with 2 L's, Little H, and Stiffler. Myself I'll refer to as Jr.  Okay, so now that there is a back story, I will get to the weekend fun.  EOM