MOJO coming back. Youre on a first date with that guy. LOL here is my number.

Coming soon

That piece of shit shouldn't have answered the phone.

Coming soon.

LSU vs ALA then bar fun. Prob taking a break for a bit from this.

Well ya'll this one is going to be long.  I use this as a way to express my feelings.  I am teaching myself to actually share what i am thinking.  Good or bad.  My ex and i have been talking bunches lately.  I have been begging her to give me a chance.  It hasn't happened but i am getting in touch with myself.

So what I have figured out is the reason she left was my fault.  Now nothing in a relationship is ever 1 persons fault.  But me acknowledging what i did wrong could be a cleansing of the soul type thing.  What i know is she tried to get me to be more passionate with her.  I never understood this, i always thought that i was a great guy to her so she would be happy.  I literally would do anything for her.  I put her on a pedestal, but all along that is not what she wanted.  She wanted me to show her in a way that i didn't realize.  She would beg me to come to bed with her and i would rather watch tv.  I know i did this.  I held resentment to her for not sleeping with me.  Or talking to her ex that did horrible things to her.  Or at least i thought, turns out that she had lied to me about that.  He didn't do all of the things she told me.

I am need yall to hear all of this to get some feeling of the stuff i am going to tell you about this weekend.  The ex and I still love each other very much.  But according to her we are not a match.  I try to understand this the best i can but it is not always easy for me.  She has anger problems and that makes it hard for me to talk to her.  I am not an angry person so i learned early on in our relationship that if i didn't tell her everything basically left out the things i knew would make her mad.  She wouldn't say things that she didn't mean and hurt me in ways i didn't like.  We had plenty of good times and some bad times.  There is of plenty of feelings i could share but onto the story.  I think i will write her a letter in a few weeks and give her everything.

Lets start on Thursday i go to the McM bar and hook up with this older chick.  I go home with her and HATE fuck the shit out of her.  I have had so many feeling pent up for the ex that it just happened.  I had been on a good boy phase.  Trying to get the ex back or hanging out with Shanon.

Ok so Saturday is game day and the tigers are playing that team that i won't give a name to.  :)  The room mate has friends coming over including this hot little er nurse.  We will call her "Sara" again a "S" name and yes this name is repeated.  This is not one of the earlier "Sara's" we will call this one firecracker.  Yes she is a hot little red head nurse.

Earlier in the week the ex and i had talked about her coming to the party.  But she decided it wasn't for the best.  I told her we were going to the McM bar after the game.  She told me she was going there also.

The game ends and we load up and go to the bar.  When we walk in i walk to where i had sat on Thursday.  GUESS who was sitting in my damn chair.  Yep the Ex.  Well i walk past her and go to the end of the bar.  Call the bartender over and order drinks and get the pool balls.  Sara kinda snuggles up to me a bit.  We are shooting pool for a bit when the ex walks over and tells me "I am leaving cause you are here.  Give me a hug"  Now the ex is fuming and i know it is because of Sara.  I had been making out with Sara a bit and having fun.  So as i am giving the ex a hug for her to leave Sara says "Hi I am Sara"  and holds her hand out to shake.  This i can tell gets under the ex skin.  So she leaves us and goes back to her friends.  She is talking to her friends i and hear her say.  "And then she says Hi I am Sara"  I look at Sara and then Sara yells across the bar "I can hear you."  Then the ex runs back over and starts getting in her face with you want to go outside and fight.  It is fucking crazy.  So i figured out what i wanted to know.  She still loves me.

Love you ex.

I think i need to get myself fixed again then maybe, maybe we can fix our problems and live happily ever after.

Choose Me.... Or choose a piece of shit. Well i guess that is over..

Well this one is going to be emotional for me.  You know what i will write this later.  I have to figure out how to write this.  The book will get the full story if i ever do the book but for now i think i might just leave this short.

I gave the ex a choice me or a piece of shit that doesn't trust her.  He didn't trust her at her word to do something riskey, he wanted proof but she thinks he will trust her with his heart.  STUPID GIRL. Guess what she chose him.  I did everything i could do and it still wasn't enough.  I am either too good for her and she knows it or she is just fucking stupid.

The bad part is I knew i was going to make her choose so i told Shanon to kick rocks.  I knew i could not ask her to choose and me not do the same.  DUMBASS Jr.

The ex mind FUCKS me. Then gets me to watch her dog WHILE she spends the NIGHT at the PIECE OF SHIT HOUSE.

Take my advice, if you like your heart and don't want it ripped out and stomped on.  Don't answer the door to a crying ex.

So the ex shows up at my house crying because her piece of shit boyfriend has asked her to do something she is not sure she wants to do.  He wants her to have a gangbang and video it so he has proof.  What kind of fucking piece of shit would do that.  So she is crying to me about it.  I tell her she doesn't have to do it.  We talk i comfort her cause that is the guy i am.  I may sound like a total ass in most of this but deep down i am in love with this girl.  So we hang out for a couple of days and go to the movie and shit.  The kinda shit we use to do.  Then one day she ask me to watch the dog so she can go talk to him and tell him it is over.  Well she was suppose to come to my house later and hang out.  Guess what guys she never came home that night.  Spent the night with that piece of shit.  FUCKING STUPID girl.  Well i just don't know how stupid she can be, but i guess we all have that person we are stupid for.  I am stupid for her.  I know she is going to hurt me and i keep going back for more.  I asked her if it was me i would never ask you to have a gangbang and you wouldn't even consider doing that kind of shit if we were together.  But with him you guys are so in love that it is alright.  

Seahawk vs Rams. In St. Louis. And our waitress just got naked.

Well week 1 of the NFL.  The Seahawks are playing in St. Louis.  Mark1, Allan, and myself decide to fly to the game.  Well our flight to St. Louis has 2 layovers.  First in Portland and the other in Salt Lake City.  So during the first flight we get on the plane and order a beer immediately.  The flight attendant says sir this flight is only 20 min.  To which our answer is "AND?"  This should have been a sign that our weekend was going to be debauchery.  We land in Portland immediately start drinking in an airport bar and hitting on some chick sitting beside us.   We get cut off at that first bar.  Then move to the next bar.  We are a handful at this point.  We finish our flight to St. Louis with many drinks.

Sr picks us up, in case you didn't figure it out, Sr is my dad.  We go out drinking and have a pretty good time.  We try to get into a casino, but Allan somehow is not let in.  We are not sure why, but it is prob for the best.  So we go to the house.  Sr's house has us some chili made when we get there so we all have a late night snack.  So good.

Ok so next morning is which is saturday.  We get up and drive dad's amazing car around a bit.  This car is fucking awesome.  It is a 65 mustang that has been fitted with a 500 hp engine and will just run.  After we all jizz our pants riding in this car we decide it is time to watch some college football.  Now this is where the story get fun.

We decide to go to this breastaurant called Twin Peaks.  We start drinking and have this little girl waiting on us.  It is prob 3 pm at this time.  We flirt with every waitress there.  And having a good time.  At about 9 pm Sr decides it is time for him to go home.  The WP keeps going.  So around 9:30 our little waitress, lets call her Shelby.  Foreshadowing here girls with car names are strippers.  Anyway Shelby comes up to our table and says if we pay our bill she can clock out.  I pay the bill immediately as long as she will come drink with us.  I have been txting Shanon pretty much this whole time.

So Shelby comes and we drink at around 11 we decide we should go to the next bar.  So we get into Shelby's car and she takes us to her apartment were she changes cloths.  She has a very sexy body.  I should also mention that she is 22.

Well we try to go to the casino again but again fucking Allan can't get into the damn casino.  Then we decide to go to the strip club.  Long story short here.  Our fucking waitress from 5 hours ago has taken us to her apartment change her cloths with us watching.  and is now taking us to a strip club.  We are having fun in the club when she gets pulled up onto the stage by one of the other strippers.  She gets naked on stage.  Then gets off and sit back down...   For about 10 min then they pull her back up there.  And she goes full nude the second time.

We decide it is time to leave at around 4 am and everyone is well lit.  So i drive us home with shelby in the passenger seat.  She gets naked again like topless.  Then she reaches over and starts rubbing my dick.  I get us home and it is crazy.

Back at dad's at 5 am go to bed and get up the next morning and go to the game.  We are all hungover bad.  But we go to the game have great times.  Get drunk again then come back to dad's and PASS the fuck out.  Get up the next day do some tourist shit and fly home......

IF you are patient I will rock your world.. AND SHE DID!!!

So i met this girl a while back.  Shanon is what we called her.  We have been hanging out and making out pretty often for the past few weeks.  BUT NO SEX...   I haven't had sex in a month at this point, no BJ from random or anything during this time.  I kinda like this girl.  The ex has been hitting me up lately also.  So i have a bunch of fucked up feelings going on in my head these days.  All my boys tell me that the ex is not good for me and i should move on, but i love her.

So Shanon has told me from the beginning that she is not some slut and she doesn't sleep with people until she feels comfortable.  She keeps telling me "Be patient and i will rock your world when the time comes."  Well it is Labor day weekend...  Oh wow..  The start of college football is this weekend.  It is Friday night and Shanon is going to the Tim McGraw concert with her girlfriends.  It is her birthday on Monday so she is planning on partying all weekend.  So Friday is pretty tame, Allan and I watch football then go meet her and the chicks that she is with.  One of them is another busty girl named, well we are back with that letter "S" and this name has to repeat later.  Lets call her Sara, Sara blue eyes just to be clear.  Cause the night i met Shanon, i was there to flirts with a bartender named "Sara" and she is busty, brown haired also.  Sara bartender is cute and young, we have been flirting with each other on and off for a bit now.  Anyway back on rails.  We have some drinks with the girls.  Shanon gets tipsy but nothing out of hand.  We go back to my place after the bars close.  We actually sleep naked this night but NO SEX.  JEEZ.  So we get up on Saturday and go to breakfast at the "bourbon street area breakfast spot" that we always go to.  They know our name there.  It is funny.  So we start drinking and hit every bar in the area.  Things start getting wild this day.  OK so here goes the best i can give you.

So we start heavy flirting.  We have a motor boating competition, Allan and I are just playing with titties.  I don't even know how to describe it if you weren't there.  Both couples, (Allan and Sara) and (Jr and Shanon) are just getting wild.  So around 4 the girls decide we should go home and watch a movie.  Since i know that none of us really slept last night, well except Allan he passed out with a naked Sara beside him.  She wanted him and he passed out.  We laughed about that all day.  So we start walking back to the truck.  Somehow we lose Sara and Allan somewhere.  We get to the truck and we start making out again.  She stops and says something along the lines of she is falling for me.  I am standing on the passenger side of the truck with the door open.  My truck is backed up in a parking spot beside a warehouse.  She unzips my pants and start sucking my dick.  Yes i am on the side of the street getting my dick sucked beside my truck.  This goes on forever it seems.  I see Allan and Sara round the corner so i kinda tap her on the head.  She zips me up and licks her lips.  Anyway when they get to us Sara asks how long have we been here.  I think we are about to play this off, so i am like oh just a sec.  Then Shanon goes   "Long enough for me to SUCK HIS DICK!"  I look at Allan and we make eye contact.  The look on his face is like WOW.  I give him a smirk and he smiles from ear to ear.

So we get in the truck and start to drive back to my place.  Shanon turns the music up and leans over unzips my pants and start sucking again.  I look in the rear view mirror and watch Sara's head go into Allan's lap.  YES ROAD HEAD x2....   THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING...  Shanon sits up and takes her shirt off and makes me squeeze her tits.  I look in the mirror, Allan and i have so many conversations with just our eyes on the way home.  Later i tell this story to Mark1 about how this is the hardest drive i have ever made from "bourbon street" to my house ever.  He gets pissed that i drove home drunk.  I tell him that i wasn't drunk just getting road head the whole way.  He laughs his ass off.

When we get back to my place we all go upstairs without talking 1 word at the house.  Everyone is just making out and getting naked.  We get to my room and then Allan knocks on the door for a condom.  We fuck for probably an hour or so.  She has no gag reflex and is amazing at blowjobs.  After fucking she is hungry, i have some burgers defrosted so we grill burgers.  People start jumping in the pool.  With all there cloths on.  Then Shanon gets out and takes all of her cloths off.  She is walking around topless with just a pair of my sweat pants on for a bit.  Then she puts on a flannel shirt on but doesn't button it up.  This girl is exactly what i think i need in my life.  A real lady until it is time to be a slut.  Then she is the biggest slut i have ever met.  So Allan leaves that night and so does Sara just leaving Shanon and myself to entertain ourselves.  We go to bed early and fuck all night.  I mean probably have sex 4x that night, everytime i am woke up with my dick in her throat.

So she was serious about rocking my world when the time came.

FF Draft but do you know how happy it makes me knowing you boys would gangbang me.

Coming soon!

72 hour date with that cool chick.

The timeline on these post is off some.  But this happens on Aug 21.  We are headed out on a friday night.  Allan, little H and myself head out to DTK to be those guys.  We meet up with the gay uncle at a swanky Mexican place.  The gay uncle points at this group of girls and says i know her.  Apparently he was at a new year party sometime and people were snorting candy out of her pussy.  She was with 2 friends, time to protect the innocent again.  Funny thing is apparently we have a run of names that start with the same letter.  Since Shawna and well the ex are suppose to have the same letter to begin their name i will use the letter "S".  So we have "L" (pussy snorting chick), Rose, and we will call her Shanon.  A pretty popular name with a slightly different spelling.

So Shanon and I start talking, we discover that were both going through a bunch of the same things currently.  She broke up with her fiance in april, same with me.  So we talk and i get her number, because she has to work the next day and is going home.  I pretty much start txting her immediately that i am getting drunk in a bar down the street.  I tell her the one good thing about her giving me her number is I am not flirting with other chicks.  I ask her if she wants to go to a baseball game on sunday.  She said yes, then changed her mind 30 mins later.  I told her I had bought the tix already.  And I had bought these tickets for a M's game already but just didn't tell her why.  I already had a date with this big titty nurse i met on one of those online dating sites.

I went out with the big titty nurse the weekend before and had decided that i wasn't really interested in her.  But i wanted to fuck the shit out of her.  Just imagine hot big natural titty nurse with blonde hair and blue eyes and a messed up voice.  Like squeaky weird.   And i haven't found out yet, but a buddy of mine told me that nurses are down for anything.  They see fucked up shit all day everyday so they have very few boundaries.  Anyway i got on a tangent here.  I had bought M's tickets because well that shit worked last time.  So i was going to fuck a nurse.

So I am txting Shanon trying to figure out when we can see each other again.  She tells me that she has plans on sat night with her girlfriends.  And sunday she had prior plans also.  So Saturday gets here and i am sitting at home at about 8.  I get this txt saying she is done with her gf birthday party and wants me to meet her in DTK.  I howl at Allan tell him and of course he and little H are down to go to DTK.

We meet up at Central with this group of HOT chicks.  They are all stylist at this swanky salon in Bellevue.  The kind of place where women that own the space needle and shit like that go to get their hair done at.  So Shanon and i are dancing and making out like nobody business.  She is rubbing my hands all over her body and grabbing me like crazy.  So the bars close and i drive everyone home.  We have Shanon, hot asian girl, little H, Allan and myself in the truck.  I drop hot asian girl off first and then head to Shanon's place.  We get there and she is pretty well fucked up.  But the fellas are still in the truck, she tells me to drop them off and come back for a night cap.  She gets out and goes to her apartment.  I back out and the guys go, "Dude we will grab an Uber, she won't be awake when you get back."  LOL  So i park the truck, go upstairs and the fellas wingman the shit out of it.

When i knock on her door she is surprised but happy.  We drink and talk for another hour.  She tells me that we aren't having sex and if i can't handle that i should leave.  So i tell her it is fine i can be a gentleman, she says she believes me.  We go to bed and mess around, just make out and fondle each other.  OH Shanon has huge fake tits.  And apparently they are brand new like from April.

So around 5 am or so she says what are you doing tomorrow.  I tell her i am going to a M's game remember.  She is like do you know why i changed my mind on you.  I look at her and say because you have a date..  She laughs and says "Yes, how did you know."  I say, "Cause i bought those tix for a date with a nurse."  WE laugh at each other.  I role over grab my phone at 5 am send a text to big titty nurse that i am sick and canceling the date.  She roles of over and does the same thing with her date.  I never talked to the nurse again.

We get up the next day and go to breakfast.  Then we go to the M's game until about 5th or 6th inning.  I think this is going good maybe i am going to get laid again.  We go back to my place make out some more and go to sleep.  I get up the next morning and take her home.  She doesn't work on Monday, so when i get off we hang out again.  Just simple make out session.  Still no SEX.......... 

Allan has a birthday. Then he does Anal Anne.

So Allan's birthday happens and we have a pool party at my place.  Everyone gets drunk and has a great time.  The following sunday is the interesting part.  We (Mark1, the Roommate, Allan, Anal Anne, and myself) are the only people left.  My keys and pocket knife are missing.  Anyway we are hanging by the pool and somehow we start trying to get the girls to get naked.  The prudish roommate is not having it.  Anne would have done just about anything that day.  Well she did let Allan fuck her in the ass later that day.  But i mean she would have prob been down for gangbang if it would have came out of someones mouth and if the prudish roommate hadn't been there.  She did get topless but that was after i dropped my pants and showed her my dick.....  Meh all is fair in showing private.  I got no shame and well i saw her great tits.  I am writing the post later in life and i now have sucked on those tits.  And my dick has been in her mouth.....  So Allan and I have shared her mouth....    I think anyway.  Maybe he didn't get her to suck his dick IDK....  LOL

Cockblocking roommate but that shit worked out.

This is the Monday after returning from sailing.  The stage 8 mutha fuckin clinger is at my house, but i go out to trivia anyway.  So Allan and i do our normal thing on monday.  Trivia and beers.  We have this neighbor hood pub that has a free game of trivia.  We are a couple smart dudes so we have fun winning pretty often.  Anyway on this particular night there is a blonde at the bar.  Lets call her Anne and she is sitting alone at the bar.  When the wolfpack finds prey separated from the herd it pounces.  So i walk over and introduce myself to her and invite her to our table for trivia.  She accepts and comes sits with us.  We talk small talk and bs.  Then little H shows up and we are have some more fun.  Then the roommate shows up and begin to talk about how she had to get away for Stage 8 and her fucking kids.  She tells me how stage 8 has been laying in my bed all day and she has been watching her kids.  Anyway i tell the roommate STFU about the stage 8 i am trying to work on some shit here.

Well the roommate can't drink for shit.  She has 2 martinis and is FUCKED up.  After trivia we all decide to go to our watering hole down the street.  We take Anne's car back to her place, she loves my truck.  Usually i figure this is mine, but the roommate will not shut up about stage 8.  So we get to Jdub and start playing bar games.  Jenga and shit, have some gold fish races just general bullshit to pass time.  Small talk outside that good stuff, with the roommate constantly talking about stage 8.  At one point she even ask me why i am giving her the mean look.  After Anne walks away i am like that is the SHUT THE FUCK UP look.  Anyway i figure out that i have got no chance with Anne tonight and get her number.  I take the roommate home and leave them there.  Of course Allan runs with it without competition.  I find out the next day he broke his anal cherry.  Gets a little bit of anal in his life.

Later on in life i figure out that Anne is fucking annoying as FUCK so the roommate cockblocking wasn't a bad thing.

Clemson rowing team and 50 foot of fun.

So my dad (Sr.) plans a sailing trip for us.  We have 5 guys on a 50ft cat in B.V.I.  Lets get with protecting the innocent first, the 5 man crew includes me (jr), dad (sr), dad's best friend (Jack), dad's buddy (George), and the little bro (Trey).  Well lets start with the first night.  We all get to the boat but our checkout is the next morning.  We are all sleeping on the boat in port the first night.  I haven't slept in about 20 hours cause i don't sleep on planes very well.

There is a club on the boardwalk up from the boat that seems to be hopping so we go check it out.  We walk in and everyone is kinda partnered up EXCEPT 1 girl at the bar.  I immediately walk up to her and start talking to her.  She is British and her accent is SEXY.  Her name is Izzy and she is a pre-med student back in the UK.  We talk and dance for a bit.  I look up and the guys have disappeared.  I ask Izzy where her friends went she has no clue.  She is pretty drunk though so i suggest we go for a walk around the bay.  She agrees and we walk for a bit.  Talking and laughing she tells me that she is attracted to me and wants me to do what ever i want to her.  I am caught a little off guard by this, but we start making out.  She ask me to take her back to my boat I say ok.  On our way back we make a few pit stops and make out.  I basically have her dress off of her a few times.  She has an amazing body and i tell her she does.  It comes out that she is 21 and i figure out why her body is amazing.  So we get back to the boat and go to my room.  Get undressed and doing some 4 play, she starts convulsing and tells me that she has never big O from 4 play.  She starts telling me that she is not as experienced as me.  I ask her what that means to which her reply is i have only been with person.  This is where shit goes sideways.  She looks at me and says "I don't know your name", i am like JR.  She basically starts crying and telling me that she has to go.  I say ok and watch her get dressed and leave.  Damn good way to start a vacation but could have been just a bit better.  :)

So we set sail the next morning and do some sailing we end up in Norman Bay.  We go to dinner, where i get a bit tipsy and somehow something comes out of my mouth about being a "Big Mother Fucker."  This starts a running joke for the entire trip.  After dinner we go to this bar on a barge called Willie T's there are people jumping off of the roof topless and naked.  There are women giving body shots on the bar.  There are women getting fake tattoos on intimate places.  This place is crazy.  We have a good time and go back to the boat and go to sleep.

The next morning we get up and sail away.  We do some stopping here and there.  Having a blast.  I am learning to sail a huge fucking boat and love it.  We pretty much stop by every island near us.  Do some snorkeling or sight seeing.  We make it to Virgin Gorda where the baths are.  We get up the next morning and hike that area which is beautiful.  After we get back to the boat we decide to sail around to a port on the other side of the island to get fresh water.  One of the pumps had sprung a leak and the charter company came and fixed it.  But we were low on fresh water.  So we sail around the leverick bay.  It should be noted that at some point before this i told Trey that i was going to toss him a soft ball at some point on this trip.

So Leverick bay is the sight of the most epic night of our trip.  While the fresh water tanks are being filled George and i walk over and grab a drink at the bar.  While we are there a group of young women walk past us.  I say something along the lines of "hey ladies would you like to have a drink with us"  The response i got was "No we are going to take showers."  I say, "you ladies look fine to me you should have a drink instead."  The leader looks at me and says "I know i am glistening."  I let it go and then 4 more girls come up and sit at the bar.  Immediately some little guy walks over to them and i hear them shut him down immediately.  I play it cool and just say hey ladies where are you from.  Their response is South Carolina.    I don't say anything else just let it settle.  Sit there a little longer then the first group of girls come back and sit with current girls.  So 8 girls sitting at the bar next to me.  I say "Hey glistening can i buy you that drink now?"  She says let me finish this one then yes.  About this time the rest of our crew shows up and sits beside George and i.  So I bail off in the middle of these 8 girls.  I am talking to all of them at once and i ask them if they are all Gamecocks?  They say who said we were Gamecocks?  I said well i was told you were from South Carolina.  This is when i learn they are the Clemson female rowing team.

So glistening and myself move off and start talking alone.  I tell the other girls to go flirt with my crew and they will get their drinks paid for.  While talking glistening walks off and Anna comes up to me and tells me she is glistening's roommate.  She then begins to inform me that Tatiana (glistening) has a nickname of Tits.  She also tells me that Tits is a lesbian and that sometimes she brings home guys and they have 3somes.  I am very interested in what Anna has to say at this point.  We take some pics and do some dancing.  Somehow i get on 1 knee and purpose to Tits.  This night is getting crazy.  Then someone gets the idea that we should go to our boat.

Our 50 foot boat is packed 8 girls and 5 dudes and it is great.  We are drinking and parting.  I am up on the trampolines hanging with tits and talking.  We talk about her being bisexual not lesbian, i am good with both.  We jump off the roof of the boat a bunch.  It is a great night.  Long story short Tits basically tells me that she wants to do this but we need to wait a bit.

At 1 point in the night one of the girls crawls into Treys bed and i throw him in there with her and shut the hatch.  Those guys are in there for a bit.  Not sure what happened but i can only imagine that my little bro owes me big.  I told him soft ball i didn't realize i was going to put it on a T for him.

Then people start getting drunk and puking on our boat.  Then Anna passes out, we are taking the drunk girls to their boat.  It is totally a buzz kill and ends the night.

The next day we get up and sail to Anegada for a lobster dinner.  We never see them again but what a night.  Then we go to Jost Van Dyke for a couple of days.  The only great thing that happens there is i flirt with a very hot chick.  Turns out she is married though.  Well that is my sailing trip.

Stage 8 MUTHA FUCKIN clinger.

So this one is going to get a big back story.  This one starts in high school, yep high school.  I had this huge crush on a few different chicks in high school, but i was a huge nerd.  Like fucking band nerd, computers and shit.  This was along with my redneck kill shit and fix my camaro hobbies made me not the most popular dude with the ladies.  When i tell you i am a very unique dude i am not shitting you.  So 1 of the girls i had a crush on contacted my on fb a while back prob 2013 or so.  Not sure exactly when but it happened first she just wanted computer advice.  Which was cool, no worries at all.  I know she is married and i am not doing anything i wouldn't do for anything else.  We start playing one of those app games on your phone for a while.  Still i have nothing to be alarmed about.  So after she figures out i am single we start talking on the phone.  She is telling me how her and her husband are getting the big D.  This is sometime around the beginning of June.  So we talk alot I am 2600 miles away from her so i don't see the harm.  Anyway somewhere along the line i get drunk and talk some smack to her.  I am a pretty charming fucker if you haven't figured that out yet.

So this turns into her looking for a job in Seattle, I am like sure sound good what the fuck do i care.  Well i have a sailing trip planned for the end of July.  Blog entry to follow on the sailing trip don't worry some shit happened there too.  She tells me she wants to fly up here and find a job, she has an interview somewhere.  I am like ok sure you can stay at my place.  Now take note i haven't seen this girl in 20 years.  So a week before i go sailing i am up at the airport picking up this girl that i have been talking to on the phone for the past month.  I am not sure what to expect, who am i kidding i know she wants to fuck....  She tells me before she gets on the plane that she filed for divorce before she went to the airport.  I am like oh ok that makes me feel better though.  Anyway we spend a week pretty much fucking all the time.  She bought some red lipstick like she use to wear when we were in HS and sucked on the ole dick.  She rarely leaves the house except when i take her places.  We did the whole tourist thing.  Needle and shit.  So we both leave about the same time on friday.  I am flying to the islands and she is flying back down south.  I think ok that was cool since she didn't look for a job i guess she really just wanted to fuck.  Oh 1 more thing.  She threw that 3 word phrase around before she left.  So my natural instinct is PULL back on the reins.  Fuck that shit.  

So i go sailing, an international trip so phone is off, but our boat has internet which is cool.  Anyway i don't get txt or calls for most of the trip.  I unplugged for a much needed vaca.  Anyway i am flying back and my first layover is in NYC.  I turn my phone on and get no lie 70+ txt msgs from this crazy bitch.  Apparently her and her husband got into it and she is flying her and 2 kids up to Seattle.  This chick is at my house when i get home with her 2 kids.  No talking about it or anything just surprise we are here.  I flip the fuck out.  

Have you ever heard the saying "bi-polar best sex ever"  I now know why someone coined that phrase.  Wasn't the best but she did like to please.  This chick is crazy.  Anyway i tell her she has to leave this is not going to work.  I am kinda a dick about it.  After she is gone the txt start.  Listen this chick is still stalking me.  A month later i haven't answered a call or a txt and i still get them.  I slept with my door locked the last night she was at my house i was worried she was going to come in there and either fuck me or kill me.  50/50 shot either way.

Summer Solstice and which of you is the sluttiest 1 here.

So its summer solstice and the WP decides it is time to invade a festival. Mark1, Stiffler, Allan, myself and roommate. We meet up with Mark1's good friend lets call her Jennie she has a friend who is fucking hot ass red head.  Well we do our marathon drinking session.  I think if the Olympics had an event for beer drinking, my crew would gold medal in it.  Allan, Mark1, and myself would be a relay team from hell when it comes to drinking.  So we drink all day and into the night.  We are in a bar somewhere in Fremont and Allan walks up to this table of girls and ask them.  "Which of you is the sluttiest girl here?" this works for him eventually he starts talking to a chick from the table.

So we lose the roommate at some point and the hot red head freaks out and starts looking for the roommate.  This starts a pattern of the roommate cockblocking.  Kinda funny but not really, she doesn't do it on purpose but it just happens.  So we find her she apparently thought jazz was playing somewhere and went off to hear it.  Well that has pissed the red head off so she goes home.  Anyway Stiffler has hooked up with 2 women and goes home with them.  Get the story later that one of them apparently passed out in the bed with him and he wakes up in a wet bed.  Couldn't figure out why at first.  He then discovers the chick has pissed herself while sleeping.  He gets up goes outside and calls an Uber.

So the roommate and i go back to the den she goes to stiffler's bed and sleeps and i go downstairs.  The rest of the WP comes back at some point and Mark1 comes and wakes me up.  Says, "hey bro Allan has a chick needs the bed down here."  I get up like a good wing man go upstairs and hit the couch.  So the only person that gets laid this weekend is Allan.  Fucker.

Stage 3 clinger

So Shawna has been out of town for a couple of weeks. She comes back into town and we pick up right were we left off. Just fucking like rabbits. She turns out to not have a gag reflex which is a plus in any book. She is up for anything and i like it. UNTIL she pulls the I love you rip cord. So we are suppose to go out of town together for the 4th of july but Mark1 and his best bud girlfriend convince me that i should end it with her before we go. I agree and do it the next day. She takes it well, better than i expected. She tells me that she had taken some shirts from my house to the cleaners and i should pick them up next week. We go to the island for the 4th and have an awesome time with mark1 family. The roommate and Stiffler hook up sometime over the weekend and i make fun of her a few times about it. Anyway we get back to mainland and mark1 and i go meet up with Shawna and one of her friends. She is a little drunk and is talking about how big my dick is so loud the whole bar hears her. Then somehow we get on the subject of why she didn't go to the island. Mark1 took the blame and then the waterworks began. I was like is this chick really crying in the bar about not going to the island. WOW. anyway i go back to her place and bang the shit out of her. She is like i will do anything you want. I grab her and start fucking her throat until i blow. When i blow that shit comes out her nose. Kinda funny now at the time i was like did i blow this bitches brains out. Anyway i rolled over went to sleep. Got up the next morning and left haven't talked to her since.

What's your address? I don't know what my address is, sorry.

So the roommate has shown up lets call her Lisa. She roles in with my brother and we get her shit unloaded. She gets moved in and we have some get together. Some brownies come out and we are drinking all day, I get really messed up. Laughing and shit uncontrollably, anyway the night carries on and some of the WP decide we should hit up the bar close to the house. We take a cab down and start the game, you know I am a lawyer, a senator, Brad Pitts brother just whatever will get the job done. Apparently i tell the 1 poor chick that i have a pool like 80x. Sorry babe i don't remember so it didn't happen. Anyway the funniest part of the night is Mark1 comes up to me and says, "Hey brutha i am toast i am grabbing a cab and going home. What's your address?" My response was "I don't know man." I should have left with him.

Mark 1 Birthday ouch i am hungover.

Coming soon!

Is it too soon for topless.

So its Thursday again.. Well WP member has a bd on wednesday but his wife is preggo and can't par take in activities. We understand "Dick" has a life that is not the single life, but the WP must take care of their members. Dick and i have been best bud since i moved up here, huntin buddies, drinkin buddies, and just plain ole Damn Good Friends. So on thursday he gets off work early i go ahead and leave also meet him in DTK for a couple of beers. I send out the howl (txt) to the rest of the WP letting them know the meeting spot. SO we have some beers. Dick has to go home to his preggo wife that leaves me, Allan, little H, and Mark1. This is the crew that women should be afraid of, we have the scent of alpha male. You ladies know you love that scent. So the WP roles down to an irish pub in DTK play a little pool and bullshit. The talent here is horrible but it is 630 pm on thurs so we are not exactly in a pick up chix spot on thurs. Then this group of people start showing up. Then all the sudden these 2 taller girls come over and ask us if they can play pool. We pair up "Shawna" and myself, then "Erin" and Allan play partners against each other. We are bullshiting and i can tell my partner is into me, but i can't remember her name. I go ask allan what is her name? I do this prob 15x throughout the night. It becomes a joke with Allan and me, he is like think Shawn then na. I am like ok will do. So night goes good it is prob 930ish and we start making out. I find out she works with Mark2's wife. I ask for her number and she doesn't want to give it to me, so i call Mark2 and take/send pic of her to mark2 so he can get her number from his wife. This slick move works even though mark2 doesn't get it, she gives it right after that and say you were going to get it anyway. Next she says "Hey you want to go to a M's game tomorrow night." Hell yea. So we discuss where to pick her up at. She decides i will pick her up at her work. Ok will do. Then we start talking about her job. I tell her i am working from home tomorrow and sitting by the pool. She likes that plan and ask if she can come sit by the pool because she has tomorrow off. I am like "sure but just bring cloths to spend the night cause we both know you aren't going home after the game." She resist for about 10 seconds and then is like you're right. So she leaves and the WP roles on down to another bar to do what we do. I get a call i am thinkin hmmmm she wants me to come to her place, but nope she just wants to talk. I leave the bar and head home which is prob the best thing anyway. So i get up on friday morn and mow the lawn to get over the hangover. Do some quick house work so i can have a presentable house for a chick. She show up around 11 or so, we talk kinda get to know each other and hang out. She tells me we aren't have sex tonight. I am ok with that or at least tell her i am. We are sitting by the pool she gets a towel and lays down face down. Looks at me and say "Is it too soon for topless?" My response is play it cool "Not at all." with the bubbles over my head of 'i am going to do naughty things to her.' Anyway we talk hang out float in the pool have a good time. Around 4 we start getting dressed to go to the game. Jump in the truck and fight traffic to the game. Park go to Henry's for a beer and dinner/lunch. Go hangout at the game have some beers, i had made a deal with her that i wouldn't dip at the game or around her too much. I look over at her tell her "It is going to be difficult tonight." She says "Well have a dip then." I say "Not what i am talking about." She goes "You want to bang me huh." BINGO babe. This also start a weekend long game of banging jokes. So it is 5 inning i look at her and say you ready to go. She is cool with it. We walk to the truck when we get there we start a little make out session. We hop in the truck and go meet some of the WP around the "French quater" We get there and they are at the tabasco pizza place with the same waitress to which the waitress says i remember you guys. i am like great.... So we laugh and talk about butter and jam fun then go about our night. So mark2 said something about not wanting to hang with someone that works with his wife and my nose smells sex, so we go home at 10ish. We get home pretty much go straight to bed. We are fooling around she gets on top because she "has more control there." Well that doesn't last long and whoops something slides in. Anyway that goes for about 10 min and over, she doesn't finish and i am just not satisfied with that. We go to sleep and i wake up at about 2 role over and shove it in. She wakes up and loves it anyway that last for about 30 min and she still doesn't finish. I am challenged now. So i role over and go back to sleep wake up at about 5ish this time i rub on her a bit and she slides it in this time it last about 30 min and she finishes with those long legs just quivering... I am like eddie murphy in Raw 'Got this motherfucker now.' I don't finish this time just out of breath. So she gets up on Saturday and goes home she has some emails for work to catch up on and a barre class to go to. I go to breakfast on bourbon with the guys at our breakfast spot. Where they know our name. I eat and have a couple of drinks then get a call "hey i want to hang by the pool some more." So i head home and i get another call from Big H he is at Costco and want to buy steaks and bring over for BBQ. I tell him there might be a chick there but no prob. He is good with it he is really more interested in hanging out having beers and shooting the bow. So i get there with shawna and she says "I need to put sunscreen on you." So she rubs sunscreen on my back and shit apparently i got a little burned yesterday. Then she says can you put it on me now. I started then somehow our cloths come off and we are fucking on the table. Just a quicky. My company comes over, it is Dick his preggo wife, Big H and his wife. We eat dinner shoot the bow and drink some beer. Good times are had by all. We find out that my ex took all the wine keys so we are trying to open wine bottles for the ladies, with chap stick or hammers and screwdrivers. That happens and it works. We eat our dinner and the company leaves, then we go upstairs and fuck a couple more times. I bend her long legs into a pretzel and that shit is fun. Get those fuckers to shaking again except i just keep going this time. She starts convulsing and shit. We stop again without me finishing cause i am out of breath. Note to self need to breath when fucking.....

It starts on Thursday and I don't know how to talk to a VIRGIN, but my pimp hand is strong.

Happy hour at a swanky Bellevue bar on Thursday, sure sounds fun. Get there a little early to meet Allan and little H. Fellas role in and we get up and move to where the chicks we are meeting are because well they have been there as long as i have. So first impressions. Blonde on the couch "Steph" a little quite but i wouldn't kick her out of bed. Dirty Blonde sitting in chair "Kat" oh man first thought is "i hope she is the single one." She has a great body and big hazel/green eyes that you can get lost in. Big smile that she uses to get your attention. Late addition is brunette server "Megan" wow would be the first impression on her. Dark hair bright blue eyes and nice ummm boobs. So they have some work friends around that eventually leave and we get down to have a good time then. The 'blog' comes up and i let Kat read some of it. i am pretty sure she thinks it is hilarious but little H takes my phone from her because Aimee from Montana keeps txting. We decide we need more activities so we leave swanky bar and go to poser bar in Bellevue. Somehow we lose Steph so no worries she was the one with a boyfriend anyway. I look at both of the girls left and thinks shit i am good either way. So Kat, little H, and Allan kind of pair up and start talking so that leaves me no choice but talk to Megan. Damn what a shame. So small talk blah blah blah. You have a boyfriend? answer Yes. Damn. But i think we are on our way to being done. Oh so you are saying there is a chance. Anyway you get where this is going, so P.I.M.P. comes out of nowhere starts with the compliments. How often do you hear that you have gorgeous eyes? Because i cant stop staring. blah blah. Got her on the ropes i think, then some other dude and his woman show up. We rearrange the group and somehow i am talking to Kat. Which is good, i am pretty sure that Megan is going home soon and it is time to put in a little time on the prize. And i am right megan leaves, but Alberto the gay uncle shows up........ So Kat gets my number after Alberto tells her i have a huge cock and fb friends my ass. which is fine then she tells me she is on a 4 mo dry spell. I think oh she is not a hit it tonight girl. So i tell the belly button joke to Kat, let me tell you she set it up perfectly. And i tee'd off on it pretty sure she got wet when i stuck my tongue out. So we drink enough and we decide it is time to get closer to home. Kat says no she is going home. So WP it is Allan, little H, Alberto and myself decide to go to local bar close to the house. Allan and I get there first we walk in and 2 younger chicks are sitting at a table. Allan says lets play pool i will grab these chicks to play with us. I wave the waitress down to order some drinks. The waitress has HUGE tits, we literally call her tits the rest of the night. We bet if they are real or fake. They are real and engorged with milk because we asked. So anyway we are playing pool with these chicks that are hot. Well one of them is hot the other is just ok. Anyway the ok one just won't smile or talk, it is starting to bug me. So i make it my goal to get her to open up and smile. Challenge accepted so i am doing gentleman things or trying. Well she finally goes and sits. I ask the hot one which i had kinda built a bit of a banter with, whats wrong with your friend? THE ANSWER: She is a virgin and you guys came on way too strong. "WHAT" they still make those things. I thought that was some kind of mythical creature, like a fucking unicorn. So i tell Allan what the deal is and he says fuck that shit. We look over at the pull tabs, nothing there, flirt with the waitress a bit and role out. Got to work tomorrow. So Friday SUCKS, between the bump of alberto candy I took and the drinking i feel like shit. But if you are gonna play you got pay so i get up and WFH(work from home). I send out a notice that the WP will BBQ at the (wolfpack party den) WPPD on sat. So grab some naps throughout the day. Hit Allan up and we decide to go be db in dtk. DoucheBags in DownTown Kirklnad, i go ahead and hit up Kat because why not she was fun and i could stare into those eyes some more. She tells us where they are. She is with a couple of her friends and lets just say they are just ok, but really young. First thoughts. Too young. no need to name them because well i don't know their names to even give them a fake name. So it is 2 am bars are closing in dtk and well i didn't try hard enough with Kat because she only eats turkey and chicken and i can't get Aimee out of my head, fucking women. I don't think i can get my head around that at this point. Allan and i have this great idea. Lets go to the casino. WTF. Lets just say at one point i told the dealer to make sure whoever turned the lights on outside knows that i am pissed. So 6 am we role out and head home. I crawl in bed for a few hours get up and start drinking at my house. Nothing particular happened all day long except drinking and Stiffler getting his ass tanned. Stiffler was pestering me well everyone but he's slapping me on the ass so i told him i was going to get him back and well i did. Caught him slippin and he will never forget that ass slap.......

Mark2's birthday DEBAUCHERY.

WOW ok now this is going to be a tough, yet fun one to write.  So the WP meets at the den about 7ish, we start drinking those special beers.  You know Shiner Bock, umm umm, those beers are so good.  Ok so a dinner plate comes out and someone drops some party candy on there in strait lines, so a few of us ski the slopes for a bit.  Then Allan shows up with his gay uncle Alberto who also was skiing the slopes.  Then little H shows up with his bro who is an agent in a division of the US gov.  SO the skiing ends.  A few of us decide we need to get out of the den.  So Allen, Alberto, little H, agent 99 and myself (Jr) decide to take the pack out for a stroll. We go to the "bourbon street" area of town and start our prowl, bitches should be scared.  So 3 of us keep going to the bathroom and taking a bump here and there while we drink heavily.  Bar hoping is a fun way to meet people when you are with a gay guy.  I did strike out at one of the bars on something that i thought i hit hard.  It was a strange feeling i don't strike out very often after i get the girl to laughing.  Alberto might have came in and messed that one up for me.  He is so fun to bar hop with, he just sometimes needs to turn the knob from 10 to 9.  Ok last bar of the night because we never left this bar till it was closing time.  I see someone i used to work with and go over and have a little talk.  Alberto walks up and says "You like my friend Jr.  He has a huge cock."  I am like "alberto this is my friend marisa we work together."  He is like "oh", it was funny and a little uncomfortable at the same time.  Anyway that is not the best of the night.  So we walk off and run into this blonde.  Now this is were the story gets funny and weird.

So the blonde lets call her "Aimee" is looking for her friend "Stella" which is actually the name she gave us but is not her real name.  Now amy and stella are from Montana and small town girls.   So Aimee and I are talking, Alberto comes up and introduces himself with the usual "Hello i am alberto.  I am the gay uncle, and girl you are beautiful."  Did i mention that alberto might be the best wing man ever.  Anyway Aimee is on the hook now and she is talking to alberto about how she has always wanted a gay friend to teach her how to give a better blowjob.   So i am in at this point, I think to myself i am going to do some shit to her tonight that she will never forget.  Also quick note the bartender has cut her off cause she is drunk.  Ok back to the story, so after alberto deep throats a bud light bottle he looks at me and say "Jr can we use you to teach her how to give a better blowjob?"  Ummmm what shit just took a turn that i didn't expect.  "Jr i will deepthroat you then Aimee will deepthroat you and then at the end she will swallow you." says alberto.  I am like ok lets do this i guess.  Shit just got real and weird.  The bar is closing and we are walking out, stella and agent 99 start making out.  Alberto, Aimee, and myself start talking and somehow she starts making out with Allan.  I am like is Allan going to beat me again.  He has bested me once before for a blonde.  I decide no at this point not going to happen.  We are talking and Aimee tells me she likes to hunt.  I show her a picture of the elk that i killed recently.  She gets a bit more interested in me.  She tells me she loves eric church, to which i responded with "I am going to marry you."  So we order an uber to take us to Alberto's house cause apparently this shit is happening.  So during the ride over i reach over grab Aimee by the back of the head and start making out with her.  Then she grabbed me back i knew at that point this was going to be fun.  So we have a few drinks at alberto but no bj happening, finally the girls are like we have to be back at our hotel in the morning at 7.  I tell them i have an extra car that i can drive them in the morning.  So we decide to go to my house (aka WP Party Den) call another uber and head over.  We get there pop a few beers and Agent 99 and stella disappear upstairs to a spare room.  Aimee tells me that we need to go to bed.  I take her upstairs and ask her if she wants a spare bedroom or mine.  She says "I don't want to have sex"  I say ok.  Then she tells me i have some bad news.  I am like ok what is it.  She says i can't sleep in my jeans and i don't wear underwear.  So she crawls in bed with me naked.  I do the math and figure out we need to get up a 6 in order to get her back to her hotel at 7.  So i set my alarm which tells me i will be getting up in 1 hour and 55 min.  So i turn over and start doing the things that you do to the ladies.  Just some back rubbing and hair playing to get them relaxed and in the mood.  Then i hear her snoring.....  So i try to go to sleep which doesn't really work well because i have been skiing all through the night.  So the alarm goes off and i wake her up she goes and get stella up.  I call an uber because i can't find the keys to the spare car and we go to the truck that is still parked at the WP den.  We get to the truck to which Aimee says that is your truck.  I say yea and she kinda smiles a bit.  We jump in and go down the street i decide to stop and get us some 5 hour energy, gatorade, and water.  We start talking and she tells me that i was a gentleman last night and she loved it.  She says something about i am her hubby and i laugh i had forgotten about the marriage proposal the night before.  She tells me she wants my number because they want to hang out again tonight.  I tell her i am not sure i can be the same gentleman 2 nights in a row.  She tells me "You won't have to be."  I give her my number we kiss and i drop them at the hotel.  I go back to my house where the guys are still sleeping.  I crawl back in bed thinking i will take a nap.  it is about 7:30 at this point.  At 8:30 the ex is jumping on my bed asking me who all is here.  Lets call the ex Veruca as in Veruca Salt.  I am like Veruca "Agent 99, Allan, and myself are here."  She is like is that all.  I say yea that is it.  She ask who is Agent 99.  It is little H's brother.  She is like get up i am packing my shit today.  I think man if you were an hour and half earlier this shit would have been bad.  I get up go downstairs there is Veruca's mom.  I love this lady she is a wonderful person.  So the guys hear the disturbance and start getting up.  Agent 99 says "hey can you drop me at big box store #1 my parents are there."  Allan is like lets go to Bourbon street get breakfast and bloody marys.

So we drop off Agent 99 then head to the WP den were mark1 and stiffler are waiting ready for us to go get food.  We gather the troops, head on down to bourbon to a great breakfast spot.  Walk in and the bartender remembers us from last time.  We sit down i am really about to puke i am so hungover.  I order biscuits and gravy with mark1.  I don't remember what the other guys got, but we all got spicy bloodies.  So we eat, drink and watch movies at the bar for about 2 hours when mark1 and myself decide we need to leave.  Stiffler and Allan are sitting at the end of the bar and we can tell they are about to go hard at it all day.  So i go back to the WP den with mark1 and i lay down in the basement and take a nap.  Aimee calls at around 4 "come get us".  So i go get them and we go back to bourbon street to the bar with stiffler and Allan have a few beers.  Then they have to go back to their hotel to meet their coworkers.  Backstory fill in.  The girls are in town for a conference on child dentistry.   They both work in a dentist office in Montana.  So on the way back to the hotel she is calling me hubby and being just a little cute not going to lie.  I start thinking i could actually marry this girl, we really have more of a connection that anyone i have met in a long time.  She starts telling me how she got googly eyed at the store this morning and how she feels a little weird about the whole thing.  So she has to have dinner with her work people and will be done at 10ish and i am suppose to come get her again.  I say ok i will be there.  Well we txt back and forth all night she is bored with them and they are still going.  At 8ish i go back to the bar where the guys are still sitting at the same spot.  I get some food and have a beer.  Finally starting to feel human at this point.  So i go back to the den leave the fellas there again 3 time i have left them at that bar....  at around 11ish i txt Aimee that i am tired i am going to fill up my truck with gas and come to Seattle and wait for her.  At 1130 she txt me back say she just told them she had an upset stomach and was headed back to the hotel.  I drive around get her.  She ask me where we are going. I tell her i need to go home and shower i have been in a bar for 2 days strait and i have way too much grit on me now.  So we go back to my place i jump in the shower get out come downstairs where she is ask her if we are going out or going to bed.  She says BED.  So we go upstairs and get in bed at 1 in the morning but she has to be back at the hotel at 7 so no rest for the wicked.  We do what we do.  Gentleman never tells.....  Get up take her to her hotel we talk about hubby wifey shit.  It is kinda funny.  Anyway drop her off and i go home crawl into bed.  FUCKING 30 min later Veruca is jumping on the bed again wanting to know who is there.  I tell her nobody.  I swear she smells Aimee on me or Aimee in the bed.  I go into the other room and go back to sleep can't do it again....  And my friends it is just Sunday of a Memorial day weekend.

Mark1 gets freedom from the man.

To celebrate the "The man" getting out of Mark1's truck we have a pool party.  I clean everything up, mow the grass and heat the pool.  Invite some ladies over, smoke a brisket and get plenty of beer.

Pull tabs == Anal

So Friday night again....  WP has plans for Sat night but nothing on Fri so Allan, Little H and myself meet up a local bar close to our house for some beers.  We play some pool drink some beer you know the usual the bar is low on talent and we are really just killing time.  So 1 am roles around we all look at each other and say ok let role out.  Allan says i want to do some pull tabs before we go.  i am like dude you don't need to do any pull tabs.  He is like come on it will just take a sec.  OK Allan with 2 L's go do some fucking pull tabs.  For people not in wa pull tabs are these little paper thing that you pay money for and you pull on the fucking tab on the end and it says blah, but sometimes it say "YOU WON $$$".  Ok so Allan sits down at the pull tabs with an empty chair between him and this red head.  I am like WTF i got nothing better to do so i sit and chat up the Red head.  She is older bout 43 i think she told me, but nice figure.  So we chat it up blah blah blah, bar calls last call so we order 1 last drink.  She says hey i smoke do you?  I am like no but i will go with you so we go outside so she can smoke and blah blah blah some more.  We go back in finish our drinks at this point the bar is kicking people out.  We go sit on my tailgate and blah blah some more the fellas walk by and are like Jr you ok?  I say yea guys see you tomorrow with a wink.  So i talk to Red some more and she says whats next.  I am like well we can go to your place and have some more drinks or my place.  She says nah i think i just want your number.  I say ok give it to her.  I say you need a ride home?  she says no i just met you i don't want a strange guy to know where i live.  I say ok no prob call me tomorrow and leave.  I almost get home i get a call.  "hey can you come over?"  Yes i can be there in a sec where do you live.  Get her address and go to red's place.  She opens the door pretty much naked, at this point i know what is about to happen.  So we go to her bedroom and start getting down.  She stops me for a sec and say "How do feel about anal?"  I am like "umm i guess it is ok" i am a little dumbfounded at this point.  never had that question asked.  i tell her "i am ok as long as nothing is going in my ass.  I don't mind sticking my dick in yours if that is what you like.  I won't be begging you for it though."  She is satisfied with that answer and starts making out with me again.  Then she stops again.  "You arent bi are you?"  I am like "What?  Babe i only swing both ways when i walk naked.  WTH is going on here i might need to leave.  If somebody jumps out of the closet we have problems."  She is like "No it is not like that."  Then she proceeds to tell me that about a year ago she was in a 4 year relationship when she found out that her bf had been fucking a married couple they knew.  I was like fucking the wife and the husband watched.  She was like NO!  That is why it messed me up.  She tells me that she was "Batshit crazy for a while!"  I am like no shit.  She goes the problem was i would ask questions i didn't want the answer to.  Like she ask the bf do you suck his dick to which the answer was yes.  Do you take it up the ass.  To which the answer was yes.  At this point i am like ok i understand why you ask those questions.  You get a pass on that.  We laugh go back to making out.  She roles over ontop of me pulls my dick out and shoves it in her ass and start fucking.....

Next day i pick up Allan and head to WP den to watch the sucky ass fight.  He ask how did it go?  I am like you won't believe me but here you go.  Tell him the story to which from then on the running joke is "How do you feel about anal" or "I only swing both ways when i walk naked"  The WP decides we need to start a journal of Jrisms.  And here you go.

The M's play the Twins and lesbian bars are fun.

Ok we decide we need to go to M's game, Felix is pitching, so we do our racist chant "KKKKKK" all night.  We drink a lot of beers and meet some new peeps.  Mark1's girl lets call her Randi from now on, meets up with some of her friends and she has friends of friends there also.  We start hanging with a group of girls that is bigger than the WP that is out.  We are also picking up on the ladies, the WP is strong this night.

"I was a doctor, a lawyer,
a senator's son, Brad Pitt's brother
and a man on the run.
Anything I thought would get the job done."

If you know that ref you know we were out for a good time.  So the game ends we start filing out this chunky girl with very large breast has kinda latched onto me.  She has a friend (Savey) that is better looking but you know, she is married or some shit like that.  So we are rolling prob somewhere 20 strong at this point.  We duck into a bar in dt Seattle and have some drinks.  The fellas are making the chicks laugh as usual and things are progressing.  I am not going to tell you the little H puked in the bar and nobody saw it happen, but i am not going to deny it if you ask...

Savey says hey you guys want to go to a lesbian bar on cap hill.  Bunch of dudes of course the answer is hell yea.  So we order some Uber's and head out.  I am pretty sure we got lectured about lesbian etiquette in the uber all the way over.  I think she thought we were going to be like bulls in a china closet.  We get there the WP is strong in lesbian bars just in case you didn't know.  I am pretty sure if the bar would have stayed open a bit longer our sheer scent would have straiten the lip stick lesbian out for a night.  We have a great time. I am pretty sure, things are a little hazy, that i pulled the busty girls tits out at some point and suck on them in the bar.  Yes she is still latched on.  So bar closes and we uber back to the wolf den and i take the busty girl down stairs.  we go at it but some whisky dick sets in, but sucking on those tits for an hour with some fondling was fun.  So next morning wake up brush teeth and shit.  Busty girl ask can you take me to the bus stop, to which my response is i will take you home i am a nice guy like that.  She says well i live in Tacoma...   Lesson learned ,she says bus stop you say "YES".  So get up get dressed and take this chick to Tacoma..  Getting in the truck i say something you are gonna make this worth my while right.  We get to BFE her condo is on some golf course i think, i might still be drunk from last night.  I go into her bathroom and piss come out and lay on her bed.  She says why don't we take a nap.  I say that is a great idea pull my cloths off and go to sleep.  When i wake up apparently she got in bed with me naked cause there is a tit right in my face so what is a guy to do.  Start sucking.  She wakes up and we play a bit then she starts sucking, but whisky dick is still in effect.  Fella just wont fully salute he takes a knee and stands for a sec just long enough for her to excited i do some quick shit and my phone starts ringing.  I answer and it is WP members where are you.  you should be here.  blah blah.  I look over at busty say hey i got to go.  Get dressed and walk out.  As i am walking out the door she says i don't know your last name or phone number.  I smile says some numbers real quick and walk away......

The bar is out of Beer.. HB Stiffler

So it is Stiffler's bd and Friday night, what is the WP to do.  Well we get drunk, this weekend is when the saying "keep it light drink all night" started.  We go to this bar up the street from the WP den have a few beers.  This night we keep it under control because well we have plans the next night to tear it down.  Nothing spectacular happened other than i flirted with a 21 yo child and discovered that i am too old to talk to a 21 yo chick.  Lesson learned.  They might be good for fucking but not talking to.  Now Saturday roles around and we go back up to the bar up the street from the den at about 1 in the afternoon.  WE drank the bar out of Coors light and Rainier on this night.  Literally ran the bar out of 2 kinds of beer.  So the girl i push onto Mark1 last week still has his attention and she is there hanging with us.  Brave girl that one, she invites her friends to the bar.  Mind you this place is a shit hole up the street from the den.  Love that bar though always good times people watching.  The best part of this night has to be fucking with Karaoke girl from last week.  She didn't remember me but I knew most everything that she told me last week.  And i told her my bellybutton joke.  Ready ok here go's i know you want to hear it.  You ask a girl.

Have you ever had your bellybutton licked?  Have you ever had it done right?  The right way is from the inside.  and show your tongue, hopefully you have a tongue like mine.......

Oh i guess at some point i told someone to read my hat when they asked where is was from......  I was wearing a camo LSU hat.

Baby Shower.

So the weekend after the breakup we all at a friends house for his wife's baby shower.  Somehow we end up in the garage because that is where the dart board is and we are drinking whisky and beer while throwing darts.  Good times always had while drinking and throwing darts.  So the WP decides i need to get out and spread my wings and well i don't disagree.  The WP decide we should go to the "french quarter" area so we load up and go.  We have an extra guy lets call him Mo, he is not married but lives with a good girl.  So we go to this pizza place in the area, not sure what it is called and i have been drinking heavily at this point.  I am smiling a lot because well i have been drinking and i smile a lot, being a good natured happy person i do smile lots.  Anyway we have this bigger girl for a waitress and we are giving her a hard time, you know being a little flirty.  We get our beers and order some pizzas.  I go to the bathroom, come back and flirting with a different waitress in the back.  I am a man on a mission at this point.  Sit back down and the pizzas come to which i ask the waitress, "Can i have some Tabasco and a bj."  If you could have seen her eyes, the sheer surprise of i have never heard that before.  Then my buddies start making up names for bj, "butter and jam" that is what he is talking about.  It was hilarious.  So we carry on eating our food, laugh some more, finish our beers, talk more to the waitress.  She was extremely curious about my job, how did i get it type shit.  So we leave and go to a bar nearby, we are still drinking of course.  I start hitting on this blonde, she has 2 friends i push 1 of them over to mark1 and the other one is so drunk she can barely stand up but is all about singing some karaoke.  Anyway i go to the bathroom after a while and on my way back some big girl grabs me and says "I want to buy you a shot", I am like who are you then i realize that it is the waitress.  I am like i am going to buy you a shot for being so cool.  We go to the bar have our shots and she looks at me and is like you ready for the bj now.  How does that shit work i am thinking.  Well i turn her down and go back to flirting with the blonde.  The night goes on and i screw it up with the blonde by bringing up the ex.  Lesson learned.

BackStory in CamelCase not pascalCase

So let's get the back story down.  Let's say I am late 30's, newly single (as of the beginning of April '15), and successful in my career. I got my shit together. I am a southern guy living in the Seattle area working for Microsoft through a consulting company.  I drive a big black jacked up truck. I hunt, fish and everything that a country boy would do.  I dip and cuss and just about anything else you could imagine a Louisiana boy would do in life. Well, except meth.  Now for the ladies out there reading this, I am tall (6'5"), quick witted, funny, and confident.  Those are all the makings for good times. I promise I can make you laugh, I don't care who you are. In this blog  I'm going to protect the innocent with fake names.    My boys - let's call us the Wolfpack, or WP for short - have been my salvation in this time of need.  The introductory WP members are Mark1, Mark2, Allan with 2 L's, Little H, and Stiffler. Myself I'll refer to as Jr.  Okay, so now that there is a back story, I will get to the weekend fun.  EOM